By Jay Kirell
Much like I predicted last week in my first attempt at a recap of True Blood, Eric ended up being the season, and the series’ hero, as he led the escape of the captive vampires and with the help of Bill, put a weak, if not nice, bow on what’s been the most tired season of True Blood yet.
We open up with the pre-credits: Warlow has just been bitten by Eric. Sookie and Bill stand over him. bill wants to drain the rest of Warlow’s blood but Sookie stops him. She tells him to go drink it from Eric since “he has more of Warlow’s blood in him than Warlow does right now.” She throws Bill out of fairy-town and lets Warlow drink from her. Bill, now outside in the real world, runs off to chase after Eric.
Post credits: Eric, now able to walk in daylight, shows up at the facility where the vampires are housed. He slaughters all the guards outside.
We cut to the funeral for Terry, which Sookie attends along with almost every part-time character who hasn’t done anything all season.
Then we cut back to Eric freeing all the male prisoners, including ripping the genitals off one of the scientists. He leaves him laying in a pool of his own blood. Bill comes along soon after, gruesomely fulfilling the scientists wishes to be mercy-killed by stomping his face in.
Flashback to Andy convincing Terry to come back to society after deployment.
Then back to the facility where Eric frees the female vampires. Finds Jason almost drained completely and delirious. Gives him his blood to help him navigate his way to where Pam, Willow and the others are being held. We find out Newlin is still alive, having played dead under a pile of bodies.
Eric confronts the fat creepy doctor that had sex with Pam last week. He admits to the affair with Eric’s progeny and Eric stands him up and takes him to find Pam “so she can kill you.”
Another flashback from the funeral, this time with Lafayette. This is the most screen time he’s had all season and it’s an extended flashback to one of the earlier seasons.
Back in the facility Eric hears a screaming Ginger, finds her and rescues her. “My knight in shining armor.”
And back to the funeral. This time Sookie gives a speech about Terry. She read his thoughts from when he first met Arlene and how he fell in love with her that moment. Touching scene.
Back to the facility, Bill finds a guard clinging to life and picks him up, making him take him to the white room where the others are.
Rev. Newlin’s ex runs to open the sun door. She opens it. We see them all feeding off of Bill. All except Steve newlin, who is grabbed by Eric and burned in the sun as the ex watches from above in horror. He and pam reconnect. He informers her he saved the psychologist for her, she goes off to kill him before he can escape.
Back to another Terry flashback. This time to when Arlene had her last kid.
Aaaaand back to the facility where all the vampires are high on Lillith/Bill/Warlow’s blood and Jason chases after Rev. Newlin’s ex. Bill lays on the floor seeing visions of three black blood-soaked Lilliths.
Cut back to the funeral. A dude sings.
Back to Jason and the ex.
Back to the funeral.
Back to Jason holding a gun over the ex.
Back to singing black guy.
Back to Jason threatening the ex. Holding a gun to her head. He can’t pull the trigger. Let’s her walk.
Back to funeral. For no reason.
Back to facility with all vampires walking in daylight. The find crates of infected True Blood and start destroying them.
Bill gets told his time on earth is over by the Lillith babes. He defies them, says he’s not going anywhere.
Jessica and the hippie vampire run to his aid. They think giving bill some of the hippie’s blood will help.
Back to the funeral. Playing TAPS. Doing the funeral detail stuff. Arlene seems at ease.
The vampires walk about (with Ginger). Jason is still hooked up with the old Catholic.
Pam and Eric see each other from across the courtyard. Pam says “Don’t you leave me.”
Eric flies away without saying a word.
Cut to credits.
Post-credits: It seems the vampires now set loose are hungry and wanting to feed on all humans….(bum bum bum).
Overall thoughts: This is probably the worst of all the penultimate episodes True Blood has had in its history. It lacked all the drama of past seasons. It seemed predictable to an extreme, and went exactly where I thought it would go last week.
Next week’s episode seems like a weak season-ender too. Like the series figured it could squeeze one last season out of HBO before calling it quits.
It’s become, for better or worse, the fantasy version of the last two seasons of “The Office.”